Wonder

Once I talked about an event that symbolised our relationship; today, I will speak of another. It was the day you didn't attend a family gathering with me (there were countless, I'm sure you remember that). In that specific event, we had just moved to my new appartment and things weren't going particuliarly well. All night long, during the party, I would stare at some point on the wall, and imagine how I'd feel when I'd get home and not find you there. I was in a way preparing myself for it; for it would not be easy.
It was around midnight when I returned. I opened the door, went to the bedroom and saw you sleeping on the bed. I gathered the little energy I had left, sat on the bed and started to cry: silently, softly and uncontrollably. Then you woke up, looked at me and asked what was wrong. And I replied: "I thought you'd be gone". I am sure on that moment you thought something like 'not just yet'. And the yet would come so soon after that.
So that's the moment I choose. I am still here, sitting on the same bed, gathering the little energy I have left, crying silently, softly and uncontrollably... and still wondering when you will be gone.