That, my friend

From now on
there are a few things
I want you to remember.

Just some quick notes
to guide you into this life
you have chosen.

From now on,
whenever you wake up
and you fell a nagging ache
you can't really tell
where it's throbbing.

Well, that, my friend,
is called thinking only
about yourself.

And then when one very day
you realise no one actually cares about you
and you've been alone
for more than you'd like
and everybody around you
is not really on your side.

Well, that, my friend,
is called thinking only
about yourself.

And finally
if one day you are sorry
for every step you ever took
and every right becomes a wrong
every dream is completely shattered
and every choice turns into one big regret.

Well, that, my friend,
is called I told you so.

The dream

Last night I had a dream
another dream to add to the hundreds
that came before

But in that dream
you were gone

How could my own mind
have been so cruel?

Then I woke up
and realised the dream
was not only a dream after all

I was left with a sadness
that not even the sad
could comprehend

I started to cry
silently
softly
and uncontrollably

I miss you so desperately, dear
and I don't think I can quite manage
to face this loneliness without you

Nos últimos meses, virou meu ofício desvender o erro cometido por outros. Tentar apontar como um falso imaginar pode moldar as atitudes. O instante definidor entre o pensar e o agir... o finalmente arrepender-se.
No fundo, sei que apenas repito o que sempre fez parte de minha vida. Seja dom ou maldição, fui indicado a observar - para em algum momento acusar. Assim não é tão surpreendente que os papéis se invertam e de repente eu me enxergue como um dos personagens ampliados por uma lente.
Nos últimos meses, não percebi meu reiterado erro. Tive tanta certeza que o problema era eu, que não estava pronto, que não tomara as corretas atitudes. Não parei para pensar e reparar que era mais uma vítima desses jogos que repetimos todos os dias, que testemunhamos na vida de amigos e por vezes insistimos em ignorar. E guiei meu coração para um vazio, uma quarentena sem prazo, uma cela sem cadeado. Não fui eu afinal o errado?
Porque você sabia que eu iria quebrar, que bastaria alguns passos para gritar por uma espécie de salvação. Você planejou sem planejar, e seu plano veio muito a acalhar para o seu plano de então. Talvez você o fez sem pensar, ou mesmo imaginar, que seria o grande perdedor.
Você também foi vítima de uma falsa representação. Você achou que nunca iria amar e assim o caminho curto que resolveu tomar levou a uma volta sem explicação. Um dia talvez você venha a acordar e perceber que só porque não era eu não significa dizer que um dia não poderei ser.
Talvez um dia eu venha a ser. Ao repetir o mesmo padrão com tantos objetos, talvez você perceba também onde errou. E o falso imaginar finalmente destrua o que a imaginação criou.

Always the same

They say that
just because there are two sides to every story
it doesn't mean there is no such thing
as a good or bad storyteller

And because life may turn around
it is just the same
when it comes to fortunetellers

And what about love?
The many ways of loving
one might choose;
are we allowed to rate
lovers as if love
was not always the same?

I cannot say

Everyday when I wake up
I don't miss you as much.
And sometimes I even think
you were not really the one
and one day I will forget you.

Well, that
I cannot say.

that I don't love,
that I believe it's just a phase,
that life will surprise me,

well, that
I cannot say.

There is one thing tough
that I can say
that love was not enough
for love was not enough

What happens then
when love is not
what feeds us?

It'd be unfair of me
to say you were not ready
and maybe that day will come.

So, that
I cannot say.

That maybe you will change someday,
that your time will soon be,
that we just have to wait,

well, that
should I really say?

Then comes the answer...

And that
I cannot say.

21

So today you are 21.
And the days keep on going by.
21 and you think it might as well
just be another day gone by.

It is not so for me.
For days are all I have.
Days to wait and see
what 21 means to me.

And I keep thinking
one day you might change
because if I changed
we'd still not be.

So today you are 21.
Not just another day
because today is the day
I am still not free.

I think some more time

I think some more time.
Maybe a few months, a year or two.
I hope time will be enough,
for hope was sadly not.

I think a love, perhaps two.
A new attempt, and a little heart wound.
And then the pain will dissolve
the only pain that I cannot.

So goes on life: I count it too.
Maybe one life, perhaps two.
And this living of mine
will grow out of you.